Massive [Economic Stimulus] Package / Chili Post

Because it is now almost Thanksgiving and because temperatures in TX have dipped below a frigid 50 degrees at least 5 times, with it is high time for a post about chili. This is a post that could likely go on forever, given the endless permutations of sweet, hot, and beefy that you decide to combine. We start with a fan submission, entitled "Bernice's Favorite Chili," named after Bernice. She is a comely woman from the suburbs of an area not far from here and encourages us to listen in class and pay attention to our pension funds.

"Bernice's Favorite Chili" makes 6 servings, and consists of the following:

2 16 oz. cans red kidney beans, drained
2 14.5 oz. cans diced tomatoes
2 lbs. ground beef, browned and drained
2 medium onions, coarsely chopped
1 green pepper, coarsely chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
2-3 tbsp. chili powder
1 tsp. pepper
2 ½ tsp. salt

Combine all ingredients in order and cook, covered, in a slow cooker, Crock Pot, I guess, on low for 10-12 hrs or on high for 5-6 hours.

The BeefRobot fans who contributed Bernice's now-famous concoction are no other than Blake and Jennipher Rice. Blake tells BR that he enjoys adding a habanero or two to the mix, probably, by our accounts, in inverse proportion to how manly he's feeling that day. For an Asian kick, he will rock a little Sriracha into the mix. If, true to his Xavier U. roots, he's feeling a little country, he rocks some Tony C's. Both are commendable.


I have a hard time really nailing down a chili recipe for you, loyal readers, but will chance an attempt at the chili I would make right now, if required to do so. Call it improv food blogging if you will. Call me Charlie Parker.

Grab a sautee pan (not your big chili receptacle). Add:

Some olive oil
1 red onion, finely chopped
6 cloves garlic, minced (or just quartered, if you or your upper GI tract don't love garlic)

Sautee for on medium low (don't forget to add salt and pepper -- my instruction on how much is: as much as 1 onion and 6 cloves of garlic need, doi) while you take . . .

1 lb ground beef
.5 lb italian sausage (remove from the casing)

Add to the onion/garlic mixture - make the meat exceedingly fine by letting it cook a little and then separating every last piece until your arm is really f-ing tired

now, grab a beer and wait until you've got about 10 more minutes left on the meat; take the pot in which you will put the chili . . . make a roux; at medium low heat, add

4 tbsp bacon grease from this morning's bacon (or from your bacon grease stash in the fridge. what, you don't have one? start one!) [if you don't have bacon grease, use vegetable oil, unless you happen to be an old soul who has Crisco, then use that]
black pepper
cumin
lots of chili powder (like 10 shakes)
get a big spoon and and the flour
Parse a little flour in at a time while you stir your oil/spice mixture
stop adding flour when the mixture becomes a paste; if it is too dry, add oil; too wet, keep adding flour
when you're at the consistency, keep stirring and let it cook for 5-10 minutes

now drain your meat and add the onion-garlic-meat mixture

add

2 cans of pinto beans
2 cans diced tomatoes (or 5 diced tomatoes)

Add more chili powder and as much cayenne as you think you need (or a chipotle pepper); give it a little brown sugar - 2-4 tbsp

Add a thing of chicken broth (whatever you've got); if not, just use water but remember you'll need a little more seasoning. Some people add beer. I think this is wasteful; same for wine. If you want to be able to call your chili "Shiner Chili," add the beer. Whatever.

Hit this with a touch of cinammon. 1 shake. Taste the chili. You probably need more salt. Maybe Tony C's? Maybe just salt.


Once I start making chili, I really crave it, so I hate cooking it for long times. I can usually contain myself for an hour or two, though if my chili is looking watery, I will force myself to wait. Keep an eye on the stuff for getting too dry. This is one of the perils of cooking as I do, not measuring ingredients. I like to think the additional attention I have to give food is a good thing.

When its ready to eat, I add shitloads of cheddar and maybe crackers. Sometimes, rarely, sour cream. Oh yea, and some green onion, if, as my dad is known to say, "you are rich."

Grub on this mess hard. You will not hate yourself for it.

Robot OUT (to search for Beef)!